168.8

I'm beyond ecstatic. Alright, so I was hoping for 165 but I'm really happy with this too. I'm losing weight. That's all that matters at this point. Who knows? Maybe I really am 165. That weight came without a BM after a big dinner last night with my mom and my brother. Honestly, I shouldn't be happy with this since it literally took my three weeks to get back on track but a loss is a loss. Now I know that I can do it and I'm just going to continue.

My final paper was completed yesterday morning, turned in a few hours later than it should've been. School is OVER FOREVER. I hope. If I do decide to get my doctorate, let it be in a few years, please..

This mean that I have a ton of time to work out now. Yesterday, I ran for 22 minutes straight as part of my couch to 5k program and I was beyond proud of myself. This week is week 6, which is the last week for interval running. After this week, I'll be running for 25 minutes at a time... until week 18(?) when I'll be running for an hour at one time. Yikes.

This week will be full of twice a day work outs and good eating habits. I'm still doing the 4-6-8 deal and it seems to be working. Now that I know that I'll always be able to eat, my body seems to be agreeing with me more. I'm not changing it until my weight loss is stagnant.

I've lost 1.5 inches around my waist. I still haven't weighed myself but this has more to do with my night eating spells then anything else. I want to be empty when I weigh myself but as soon as I take a bite of anything at night, I say forgot it and I won't step on the scale. This morning, I noted that there was some fat that seemed to be missing as I dressed myself. I grabbed the measuring tape and behold, 1.5 inches gone.

It made me happy for a moment but there's still a lot to lose.

Since I'm feeling uninspired, I'm just going to ramble on about school. Last day was Wednesday and now I have to get my work situation figured out and find an apartment. I've found an apartment complex that I really liked (location-wise) but it isn't built yet. They're doing construction on it as I type and it should be opened in December. A long time for me but time for me to save money.

This is sudden but I'm going to stop. More later.

I vanished over the weekend and I came out how you would expect. It was a weekend full of binging and purging, unfortunately. It's like, I love the weekdays because I do so well but it's so hard being social because it just triggers something in me. Today is a 400 cal day so I'm back on track but I still feel really bad about this weekend. I don't have anything planned for the next few weeks so I'm going to have to stay strong. I feel more or less motivated. More so because I had a great run yesterday. I'm on week 5 of my couch to 5k and this weekend will be a big test to how well I do.

I feel like I could come to love running.

Now I just have to stay eating well in order get the pounds off.

This is also my last week of school. Ever. I hope. I'm hoping that I won't be crazy enough to want to get into the PhD program in the next couple of years. But nevertheless, this means that I have more time to work out. I've been fighting with myself for the last few weeks because I wanted to work out more but I still had (still have) so much work to do.

The last time I lost a lot of weight was when I was just working and not doing school full time.

Here's hoping for a repeat performance.

I've been avoiding the scale for whatever reason but! I put on a shirt today that made me look frumpy a few weeks ago and it's not looking too bad! I'm being serious when I say that I put on the shirt and nearly went teary eyed at how horrible it look on me. The fact that I'm able to stroll out of the house with it on it a testament to my hard work. I really should weigh myself soon.

Today was another running day and it wasn't too bad. I'm on Week 4, day 2 of my running program. Next week, I'll have to run for 22 minutes straight so I'm kind of dreading it/trembling in anticipation. I know that there are tons of people who can run that no problem but I've never been able to run nearly that long without pain. It use to be that I'd stop working out once I felt an ounce of discomfort but I'm glad those days are over. There was a guy running next to me the other day. He was kind of big but he ran forever. He was an inspiration, despite his size.

Since my graduation day is approaching, I've been searching around for apartments in my area and I think I found one. I'm a minimalist so it doesn't have to be more than one bedroom but it's been a while since I've lived by myself so I'm a little excited/terrified about it. I'll be able to have better control over my eating and there's a 24 hour fitness center on site. It'll be a few months until the details are finalized since the place isn't technically built yet but I'm looking forward to it. Maybe I'll get a dog. A girlfriend. A homey yet terrific type of life.

Haha.

Tomorrow is the Childish Gambino concert. Please let it be a decent food day.

Yesterday went ok... until the night. Actually, it wasn't even that bad. I was great all day and decent at night compared to my usual night eating. I've decided that I'm going to stick to 4-6-8 and get rid of the 2 and the optional fast for now. This will push away binges and give me more a chance to succeed. So. Tomorrow will be another 600. I'm feeling pretty good about it.

My run yesterday was pretty fantastic. My endurance is getting much better and I feel like I'll be ready for my 5k in no time. Pretty disappointed that I was too late to register for the Color Run coming up in November but I figure that I'll be more than ready for a 10k by then anyway. Have to look at the bright side here!

... and I have to admit that I'm pretty terrified to weigh in, plus I haven't had a proper BM in a while so~ extra fiber it is. I'll probably weigh in this weekend. No problem.

I had a great conversation with a few friends yesterday. I've honestly been acting like a hermit all summer but summer is different after undergrad. It's the time to go out in the sun and the beach and whatever else but it's also the time to work, and read, and run. I don't run with people very well. Either they're slower than me, or I feel like I'm holding them back. Such conflicting feelings.

600//muse

Yesterday went great. 800 calories is pretty easy to stay in but I'm wondering about other days, especially the days that I want to work out. I'm feeling not starving but a little weaker today. I woke up and did half of the P90x plyometric program, eating oatmeal afterwards. It made me think about other days when I plan to work out. I want to keep myself from binging and since work out most days except for Sundays, I'm going to really think this over. Like BDR noted in her last comment, life is constantly changing and I never know what I'm going to do next.

If only life were a little more predictable and more workouts a non-factor in terms of energy. I'm training for a 5k with my brother while he's still at home. He thinks it's just because I want to run this 5k coming up in September with my friend M but it's really because I want to run. I can jog for a little at the moment but running for more than 5 to 10 minutes is pretty much an impossibility. There's an app called 10k Trainer Pro for the iphone that I'm using. I'm running today (week 4!) and I'm hoping the greek yogurt and the banana that I have planned for lunch will spark enough energy for me to finish the run as well as other little workouts that M gave me.

I just saw some facebook pictures of an old high school friend this morning. I always thought she was average build but I realized, as I noted her collarbones and ribcage, that was she thin. Very thin. I was envious. And I decided to use her as my goal. We were always the same height so going for her weight or even lower shouldn't be out of reaching.

Weigh in tomorrow.

new plan

Without meaning to, I took a little vacation this weekend. Eating wasn't measured although I didn't pig out like I usually do when I hang out with people so that was a relief. On Sunday, I wasn't feeling well so I slept all day and didn't eat anything all day. But of course, as soon as I woke up, I ate almost as if to make up for what I didn't eat, which wasn't what I wanted but what can you do?

Plan, of course.

I've always worked well with plans; that's my mo, honestly. So last night, I came up with one. I've always really liked the 2-4-6-8 diet and I think that's the one that I want to stick with. It's always worked well for me and I switched around days for when I needed like. Like for this Friday. I'm going to go to a concert with my brother and I don't want him to see me not eat all day so I modified my plan a bit. Today is an 800 day, tomorrow is 600, Wednesday is 400, and Thursday is fasting. Friday is 800. It's going to be random like that for the next two weeks until my schedule is okay enough for me to stay strictly 2-4-6-8.

As for workouts, I plan to do 2 work outs a day, with a rest day on Sunday. My one work out will be P90x while my 2nd work out will be some kind of gym work out. I've actually had a trainer for the last few months. You'd think that I would've lost weight while seeing her but I only saw her once a week and I told her I wanted to be stronger and not focus on weight. Which, I think, was a mistake.

I've learned my lesson. I'm pretty determined. I'm going to do this.